


i need a holiday

by blxrryfxcxd



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, F/F, Fluff, Gay Harley Keener, Gay Harry Osborn, Harley Keener as Iron Lad, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lesbian Michelle Jones, Lesbian Shuri (Marvel), M/M, No Angst, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Social Media, Twitter, We Die Like Men, bc i can't deal with that, bc that's what i live for really, harrison osterfield as harry osborn, this is a mess, this is me coping with lockdown
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:00:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23842642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blxrryfxcxd/pseuds/blxrryfxcxd
Summary: Iron Man ✅ @TonyStarkWait... The kid called me Tony. This is the first time he's said this.⮡  peter @pbparkerTHAT'S the issue you're focusing on here???? TONY????⮡  Iron Man ✅ @TonyStarkWhat other issue is there?⮡  peter @pbparkerTHE KID??? WHO KNOWS WHO I AM???⮡  harley @hkeenerheard you were talking shit~~~~~basically, i felt the need to add to the many, many twitter fics there already are.also a warning: if you're on a phone, the formatting is well and truly messed up
Relationships: Betty Brant/Ned Leeds, Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Harley Keener & Tony Stark, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Michelle Jones/Shuri, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Shuri/MJ
Comments: 180
Kudos: 1074





	1. twitter finds out that peter knows two billionaires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first time writing on here so i apologise if the formatting's off

**peter** @pbparker  
the day harry comes back from boarding school, it's over for you bitches

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
believe me when i say i CANNOT wait

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
samesamesame

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
why did you say "bitches" when said "bitches" is only one person

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
look, you didn't need to call me out. two weeks and i won't be a coward anymore

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
you can stop being a coward now. you don't need a billionaire to fight your battles for you.

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
parker doesn't know any billionaires, i don't know how someone as smart as you is falling for this, michelle.

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
for someone who hates peter so much - and isn't even following him - why are you stalking his twitter?

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
flash, harry osborn is literally following peter

\-----

_@flashthompson started following @pbparker_

_\-----_

**peter** @pbparker  
hear that, @TonyStark ?  
_quoted tweet:  
_ **mj** @emjay  
you can stop being a coward now. you don't need a billionaire to fight your battles for you.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  


⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
MR STARK

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Problem, kid?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
WHO TAUGHT YOU

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
That's for me to know, and you to find out.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
ominous

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
That's exactly how it's supposed to be.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
is now the time when i point out that u didn't add the text to the sign on the second half

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
No. This is when you appreciate my efforts.

\-----

 **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
are we going to acknowledge the fact that tony stark replied to a random kid and literally MADE A MEME that was specific to the situation??

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
absolutely not.

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
understandable have a nice day

\-----

 **Pepper Potts ✅** @CEOPepperPotts  
Am I always going to be the one to clean up the mess made by the men in my life? Yes. Was it in the job description? Also yes. Am I going to have a go at them regardless? Yet again, another yes.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
sorry, ms. potts :((

⮡ **Pepper Potts ✅** @CEOPepperPotts  
It's okay, Peter. Tony is going to say something to avoid this happening again.

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
Am I?

⮡ **Pepper Potts ✅** @CEOPepperPotts  
Yes.

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
Guess I'm doing that then.

\-----

 **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
Regarding my reply to @pbparker 's earlier tweet: Peter is my intern. Yes, he is a high school intern, which is unknown at Stark Industries. However, Peter is incredibly smart and caught my attention a couple of years ago. I ask for you not to bother him, as he is still a minor. Those who do bother him will be facing consequences.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
at least i'll have more followers to share my late-night shitposts with

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
truly the best thing to come out of this

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
losers. both of you.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
thanks, mj! <3

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
love you too, mj! <3

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
i leave for five years, and you team up with the enemy, @pbparker ?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
HARRY YOU KNEW THIS

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
BUT I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO SO I'M GOING TO PRETEND LIKE I DIDN'T

\-----

_@TonyStark started following @pbparker._

_@CEOPepperPotts started following @pbparker._

\-----

 **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
so, @pbparker . we were discussing betrayal?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker   
HARRY PLEASE

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
and why should i spare you?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker   
you can't tell me norman would hire me. plus, oscorp and i aren't a good mix.

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
you're right. in which case, i'm joining you. @TonyStark please give me an internship with peter

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
Fine, Osborn. But only because it makes the kid happy. Any funny business and you're out.

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
YES THANK YOU, YOU CAN RELY ON ME I WON'T GIVE OUT INFO. IF ANYTHING, I WILL SUPPLY NORMAN WITH FAKE INFO.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
HARRY NORMAN'S GONNA MURDER YOU

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
ah, yes, the sweet release of death

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
due to personal reasons, i now know absolutely no billionaires.

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
you would never do that

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
watch me

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
ned's right - you're too emotionally attached to both of them

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn   
awe, peter. i risked my life to get an internship with tony so i can spend more time w my best friend and THIS is how you treat me :((

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
okay, you're alright, i guess

\-----

 **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
seeing @pbparker come from nowhere and just,,, take down harry fucking osborn like that,,, wow. art.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
thanks, it's my day job

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
how long have you been doing this?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
too long

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
awe :( you love me really

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
debatable.

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
he did it again

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
as i said: it's my day job

\-----

 **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
first, tony stark has a random high school intern. next, he hires harry osborn (son of the ceo of a rival company) JUST bc it makes this kid happy & they seem to be best friends. what's next? an army of teenagers take over tony stark's lab?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
👀

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
👀

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds   
👀

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
👀

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
👀

⮡ **shuri ✅** @princessofwakanda  
👀

⮡ **harley** @hkeener   
👀 

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  


⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
you don't know me, but i know you sweetheart

⮡ **peter** @pbparker   
@TonyStark TONY??????  


⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
Tony can't come to the phone right now. Why? He's dead.

\-----

 **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
Wait... The kid called me Tony. This is the first time he's said this.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
THAT'S the issue you're focusing on here???? TONY????

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
What other issue is there?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
THE KID??? WHO KNOWS WHO I AM???

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
heard you were talking shit

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
pls sir how do u know me

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
that's for me to know and you to find out

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  


⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
as it should be.

\-----

 **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
so tony stark knows ANOTHER kid and he doesn't even live in new york??? and this one doesn't seem to know the others??? like i KNOW tony knows the princess of wakanda for a REASON but WHY a kid from TENNESSEE

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
got an issue w tennessee?

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
absolutely not

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
you should. it's a shithole

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
okay. then i DO have an issue with tennesee

\-----

 **harley** @hkeener  
honestly. the power i have over people astounds me. 

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
Kid. I'm begging you to stop for five minutes while I deal with this. I only have so much damage control. 

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
you're gonna need more when i get there 

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark   
You're coming over? 

⮡ **harley** @hkeener   
if i can, old man. 

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
You're welcome anytime. Jet's on its way.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
thanks, mechanic

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
I'll be there when you land.

\-----

 **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
oh god there's more kids. tony stark has an army of kids. the peter kid is a legend. harry osborn has somehow become a stark kid. the harley kid has too much power over us. ned? mj? peter's friends from what i can tell. mj seems scary. ned seems like peter. the princess of wakanda? another legend. i fear for tony's life.

⮡ **Pepper Potts ✅** @CEOPepperPotts  
He should be more scared of me when I'm done with him. He's caused a big mess in PR. 

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis   
i fear for tony's life even more

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
Thanks. Can't believe this is the last tweet I will read before I am inevitably murdered.

\-----

 **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
I lived, bitch. But now I gotta make a statement. Again. For the second time today.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
i mean,, you technically brought it on yourself 

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
You're right. But please shut up.

\-----

 **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
I met @hkeener when I crash-landed in Tennessee during the Mandarin attacks. I have kept in contact with him and his family. @nedleeds and @emjay are friends of @pbparker . You know who @princessofwakanda is. You know who @harryosborn is. I don't think anything else needs to be said.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
you could've just told me that he was THAT kid

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
"THAT kid" huh? is that all i am to the mechanic?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
no!! he talks abt you all the time! just never told me your name bc he thought we would cause too many explosions if we were ever  
friends

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
let's prove him right then, sweetheart

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
absolutely.

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
Absolutely not.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
too late, old man. he already agreed.

\-----

 **mj** @emjay  
look, if @hkeener calls @pbparker 'sweetheart' or some shit irl then peter is going to have a bi panic and i'd love to be there to see it.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
hm. you'll have to be there then.

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
i like you.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
good.

\-----

 **needle** @nedleeds  
@pbparker oh god there's two of them

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i know. i now fear for my life like tony does when pepper's mad at him

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
i feel like that feeling is going to become common for the both of us

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  


\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
@flashthompson been real quiet since tony stark and harry osborn acknowledged my existence

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
sorry

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
NOW you apologise. YEARS of this BULLSHIT i have to sit through and you wait until NOW?? just because you realised that maybe i WASN'T  
lying the whole time?? a sorry doesn't change SHIT flash. and it never will. 

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
then shit won't change.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
except it WILL, won't it? just because of who i know.

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
if a sorry won't change shit then what will? i don't want tony stark on my ass because i made some stupid remark to some kid he  
knows and seems quite protective over  
  


⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i'm TIRED of your pointless remarks. they're not stupid - they hurt sometimes and they're pointless. pulling out the orphan card  
every time you feel like you're not making me feel like shit enough? you don't have the right to do that.

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
well, you are an orphan. it's a fact, not an insult based off nothing.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
it may be a fact, but you have no right whatsoever to use it as an insult.

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
funny how it's only NOW you're fighting back. over twitter. when harry osborn and tony stark admit to knowing you.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
what would be the point in fighting back if you wouldn't ever believe me?

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
peter, what the FUCK was that last thread?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
you'll find out soon enough. i have a feeling that it's not over.

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
i'm not waiting. call me.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
fine.

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
And WE'LL be having words, kid.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
we won't

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
You can run, but you can't hide.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
bet.

\-----

 **mj** @emjay  
you know what? i'm proud of you, @pbparker

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i got the approval!! @nedleeds

⮡ **needle** @needleeds  
omg yes

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
but you're going to talk to stark about it

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
am i?

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
yes.

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
Thank you, MJ, Michelle, whatever name you would prefer for me to call you.

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
you're welcome, mr. stark. MJ's fine.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
mj's a traitor

\-----

 **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
it's gonna feel so good to be back in new york

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
!!!

⮡ **needle** @needleeds  
!!!

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
!

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
glad everyone's excitedly awaiting my arrival

\-----

 **harley** @hkeener  
it's time.

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
Oh no. Oh fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this was fun & i probably got carried away at some points but oh well


	2. twitter sees peter & harley meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay this one isn't as funny but it clears up some background stuff

**peter** @pbparker  
mr stark said "come to the tower, i want you to meet someone." does he realise that i've been sitting in the kitchen w @nedleeds and @emjay for the last hour or?

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
You've what now?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
been sitting in the kitchen w ned & mj for an hour

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I'm standing in the kitchen right now. You're not here.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
look under the table

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
What the fuck?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
we are standing opposite each other, there's no need to tweet now

\-----

 **mj** @emjay  
he had a bi panic

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
how was i supposed to know what he looked like??

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
literally,,, my pfp is my face

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i mean,, i don't tend to try and find out everything about someone just because mr stark mentioned them once

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
this is NOT call out harley hours

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
it is now

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
PLEASE get your dumbasses off my tweet

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
it was you, @hkeener .

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
hm? what did i do now?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
you were the one who taught mr stark memes

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  


⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i can't tell whether i love you or hate you for that

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
both.

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
if i said @hkeener 's playlist didn't give me whiplash, i'd be lying

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
don't break your neck

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
bold of you to assume i haven't already done that

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
you would've told me if you'd done that,, so

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
would i though

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
i'd hope so, parker

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
what's wrong w my playlist parker

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
NO ONE - and i mean no one - needs to have that many different music tastes

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
sounds like you're uncultured

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
let me put on my playlist

\-----

 **harley** @hkeener  
@pbparker 's playlist isn't much better, there are at least three different genres in there

⮡ **peter** @pbparker   
at least mine doesn't go from bon jovi to blackbear to all time low to troye sivan to dua lipa

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
it's called having a personality

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
oh, fuck you

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
at least take me on a date first

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
There will be no dating.

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
there can be dating once i approve of the guy, peter

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
so i gotta get approval from harry osborn now?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
tell me where i agreed to actually take you on a date in the first place

\-----

 **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
ok bUT now that peter, mj, ned, and harley all know each other and the internet KNOWS they know tony stark, does that mean we'll get info on what tony is like OUTSIDE of what the media perceives him as?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker   
depends what ms. potts lets us release tbh

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
but we WILL take matters into our own hands if someone's talking shit about tony

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
for the first time in the two hours i've known you, i agree with you

\-----

 **needle** @nedleeds  
harley smirked at peter from the other side of the common room and peter went red and threw a pillow at him

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
and i can't be here to witness this?

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
you'll be here in like,,, a couple of weeks though, so you can see it then

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
hm. fine

\-----

 **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
@harryosborn @pbparker if you two have been friends for years? why did you never interact over twitter?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker   
interacting on twitter would be effort, and norman would've got mad if he had to deal with the pr because we didn't have tony. there's a lot  
that the media don't know about harry that norman wasn't willing to release - put a "dampener" on their reputation of being a rich family  
who gave their child the best.

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
public knowledge was that i've always gone to a private boarding school, and that isn't the case. so knowing peter & ned would've meant  
norman would have to deal with it. it's hard to explain in a tweet but yeah, it would mean explaining my education & norman didn't care  
for me enough to do that. and even when peter had tony to deal w pr instead of us having to turn to norman, peter didn't want to bother  
tony & ms potts. calling and texts were just easier.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
u definitely went over the character limit there

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
and you didn't?

\-----

 **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
so from that, i learnt that harry osborn hasn't always gone to a private school & he met peter and ned at whatever school he went to first. norman osborn didn't want to deal with the pr of everyone knowing that harry went to a public (i'm assuming) school. but why though?? i don't understand WHY norman would want to hide that??

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
we were supposed to be a rich family, where i got the best education i could. before she died, my mother had said she wanted me to have a  
normal education. after she died, norman didn't want that, and sent me to a boarding school. the last time i saw peter & ned was five years  
ago when i came home from a summer holiday. needless to say, i wasn't allowed to see them after that because they were "commoners".

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
ouch. i'll take it that's one of the reasons that you call norman by his first name? i'm happy you guys stayed friends despite that, you all  
seem really close!

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
yeah! peter & ned are like my brothers. i've only seen mj over a call but she's cool too

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
thanks, nerd.

\-----

 **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
let me be the first to say it: @harryosborn seems to be so genuine? he interacts with people & is so, so nice to them? norman osborn was so horrible to him and he just,, released that information over twitter? to a random person? (sorry @irondad2 ) absolute legend.

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
i try my best ;)

\-----

 **Pepper Potts ✅** @CEOPepperPotts  
I should be mad at @harryosborn for releasing that much information about the owner of a rival company, knowing that our PR department has to deal with it - but unlike SOME people, he gave me a heads-up. Also, I'm very proud of you, Harry.

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
omg ms pepper potts is proud of me

\-----

 **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
okay i've had enough spotlight on twitter for the rest of this month can we go back to peter and harley?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker   
fine. but only bc i'm proud of you

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
thanks, bro

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
okay i have second thoughts on @hkeener 's playlist: it's actually very good but harley has definitely been through some shit

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
rose hill is a shitty place, darlin'. but i'm glad you changed your mind about it

⮡ **mj** @emjay   
call him "darlin'" one more time and he's going to jump out of the window

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i've done it before and i'll do it again

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
bet.

\-----

 **harley** @hkeener  
he,, he did it what the FUCK @pbparker WHY DID U JUMP OUT THE WINDOW

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
mj DID warn you

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
i didn't think you'd ACTUALLY DO IT

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
as i said, i've done it before and i'll do it again

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
goddamn.

\-----

 **needle** @nedleeds  
for your entertainment  
 _[video attached: harley looks up from his phone, smirking. he looks peter dead in the eyes.  
_ _"darlin', you wouldn't actually jump out of the window, would you?" it's clear that harley is putting on the southern accent.  
before harley has even finished his sentence, peter throws his phone onto the sofa and jumps out of a seemingly open window (well, no glass  
smashes).  
the camera is zoomed into harley's face as he turns to face the camera.  
"WHAT THE-" is all the camera catches harley say before the video cuts out.]  
  
_

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
ned's the saviour we didn't know we needed

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
at least SOMEONE appreciates me

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
love you ned!!

\-----

 **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I'm not saying that The Avengers need to tell me they're coming over from the Compound, but they need to tell me that they're coming over from the Compound when I have CHILDREN running around.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
call me a child one more time

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
You're under 18, you are a child.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
that's what YOU think, old man.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
That's what your birth certificate also says, Keener.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
you have my birth certificate?

\-----

 **(bi)der-man ✅** @spiderman  
just a psa: please DO NOT try and pull my mask off when you meet me!! i have a secret identity for a reason!!

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
in other words, emily, he's telling you to fuck off.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
harley! you can't just say that!

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
He's right though, Spidey. You don't have to be nice about these things.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
but i WANT to be

\-----

 **stark kids** @starkkidsofficial  
we decided to post any interesting stuff that happens at stark tower when we're here on this account so it's all in one place.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I'll just give everyone in PR a raise right now, shouldn't I?

⮡ **stark kids** @starkkidsofficial  
probably a good idea

⮡ **Pepper Potts ✅** @CEOPepperPotts  
We've got it covered, just don't release anything confidential, please.

⮡ **stark kids** @starkkidsofficial  
we weren't planning to, ms potts!! we'll ask you before posting anything we're unsure about.

⮡ **Pepper Potts ✅** @CEOPepperPotts  
Thank you.

\-----

 **stark kids** @starkkidsofficial  
just to clarify, this account is run by @pbparker @hkeener @harryosborn @emjay @nedleeds @princessofwakanda and @spiderman

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
omg content

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
i'm READY

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
we're gonna get more than we bargained for

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
we're verified now, that's cool - peter

⮡ **36 hours** @hahayes  
you may be verified on twitter, but are you verified in the eyes of god?

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
absolutely not.

\-----

 **gwen** @gwenstacy  
@hkeener ?? excuse me??

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
hm?

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
you? didn't? tell? me?

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
what part?

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
everything? 

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
i'm sorry, you know how things were

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
i know. don't apologise. just... call me and tell me now?

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
can i just dm you?

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
that works too.

\-----

**harley -- > gwen**

**harley:** i'm sorry

 **gwen:** i already said don't apologise, i understand why you couldn't tell me

 **harley:** i just... you're my best friend. i didn't want you to think i was a liar

 **gwen:** i would've believed you. crazier things have happened

 **harley:** i didn't want to lose you. you were the only friend i had, y'know?

 **gwen:** i know, i know. 

**gwen:** so. why'd you decide to go over to tony so suddenly?

 **harley:** i couldn't stay there. tony always told me that if i needed to get out, he'd get me out. no questions asked

 **gwen:** what finally got you to leave?

 **harley:** i was so, so tired of ej. things got worse when people found out about tom. 

**gwen:** i'm glad you got out

 **harley:** me too

 **harley:** come and visit me sometime?

 **gwen:** lucky for you, my family weren't planning to stay in tennessee much longer either

 **harley:** no way

 **gwen:** yes way

 **harley:** where are you moving to?

 **gwen:** brooklyn, baby

 **harley:** YES JFSFJDSFH

 **gwen:** see you soon, gay boy ;)

 **harley:** I CAN'T WAIT

\-----

 **stark kids** @starkkidsofficial  
harley: how did u take down captain america?  
spider-man, in civilian clothes, in a VERY bad german accent: i shot him in the legs, because his shield is the size of a dinner plate, and he is an idiot  
steve: ... what?

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
and THAT'S how captain america found out i was spider-man

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
next time, mr captain america sir, ASK before you drop an airport terminal on a kid

⮡ **shuri ✅** @princessofwakanda  
consent is key, mr america!

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
I should've stayed in the ice.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Damn right you should've.

\-----

 **bucky ✅** @thewhitewolf  
y'all called the first one civil war, right? well, civil war 2 coming to a theatre near you!

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
the tagline: spider-man should've kept his mouth shut.

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
it was bound to happen at some point, kid.

\-----

 **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
i'm missing out on so much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah, civil war happened but they all joke about it because i don't want negativity


	3. twitter sees the gay side of captain america

**harley** @hkeener  
oh no oh fuck  
 _[[boomers discover the internet]](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2020/04/24/exhausted-meme-fatigue-might-pushing-children-mute/)_

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
this is worse than you teaching tony memes

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Heard you were talking shit.

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
i asked steve what his stance on homosexuality was and steve just,, stood up and kissed bucky barnes and walked out the room - harley

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
all the avengers + us been sitting in silence for the last ten minutes - peter

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
what do we do

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
idk man this was your fault

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
i'll take the blame for this one

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
you asked pepper about posting this though right

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
i texted her and she just gave me a nod from across the room

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i've literally never seen her speechless

\-----

 **bucky ✅** @thewhitewolf  
hey, what the FUCK just happened

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
idk buck we're all just as shocked as you are

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
help

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
if it's rendered nat & pepper speechless then idk how we can help you

\-----

 **local journalist** @bettybrant  
are we just supposed to accept that @pbparker is friends with the avengers & calls THE white wolf as 'buck' and not bucky 

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
tbh the 'buck' was unintentional we're all a little Shocked™ at the moment

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
you know what? fair. i'll ask the same question later

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
see you then

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
it's been an hour. no one has moved. - spider-man

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
apart from you, harley, and peter, who's there?

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
bucky, tony, pepper, nat, clint, sam, bruce, rhodey, vision, and wanda (if you don't count steve bc technically he's not here anymore)  
\- spider-man

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
goddamn.

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
tell me WHY, steve - shuri

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
Ain't nothin' but a heartache

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
let it be known that it was ME who killed captain america - harley

\------

 **peter** @pbparker  
gonna test something

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
a'ight this one's for steve: tell me why

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
Ain't nothin' but a mistake

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i don't think it was a mistake, mr america. i think you've been waiting over 70 years to do that

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  


⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
@hkeener this is your fault.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
oh don't worry, i know. steve, i'm taking away your rights to understand our humour.

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
Tell me why.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i'm going to jump

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
bet i can do a better flip than you

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
manhattan bridge, 2pm tomorrow.

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
i'll be there.

\-----

 **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
i'm changing my flight. too much is happening without me. i'll be there tomorrow @pbparker @nedleeds @emjay

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
YES I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE U AGAIN

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
!!!!!!!!!!!

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
we'll meet u at the airport

\-----

 **local journalist** @bettybrant  
so, @pbparker ?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
harley & i are mr stark's personal interns so we basically go wherever he goes so yeah,, we get to see the avengers

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
but you're like?? hanging out w them??

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
they just took a liking to us ig?? it just be like that

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
there's something you're not saying but i guess u can't say it for pr reasons

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
correct

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
@TonyStark can happy drop us to the airport tomorrow to pick up harry? i'm too scared to ask him myself

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I'll drop you there myself. I've got nothing better to do. 

⮡ **Pepper Potts ✅** @CEOPepperPotts  
You have a board meeting with General Ross about the Accords.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I stand by what I said.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
thank you, mr stark!

\-----

 **sonic** @flashthompson  
anyone dreading going back to school after this week?

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
i think we all are

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
yes, but we all know why you're dreading it

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
i don't remember asking you

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
"anyone" suggests you're talking to everyone on your tl.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
actually, i'm kinda looking forward to it.  
_quoted tweet:  
_**peter** @pbparker **  
**the day harry comes back from boarding school, it's over for you bitches

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
nevermind, i'm looking forward to it too.

\-----

 **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
did we ever see the aftermath of the captain america and white wolf thing or did i miss that?

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
we didn't say anything about it, but everyone got on with life after a couple of hours - peter

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
damn, do we get a storytime? 

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
on it - peter

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
hi this is peter i'm just gonna explain everything. so after harley asked the question about steve's views on homosexuality, and steve got up and kissed bucky, we were just sitting there

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
barbecue sauce on your titties

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
G W EN

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
you can't tell me that you didn't think the same

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
you're right but you didn't need to say it

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
everyone sort of stared at each other? and then me, harley, and bucky all just went on our phones & you can see the tweets. but yeah?? eventually, rhodey and pepper got themselves together and went to clear up the kitchen bc steve had cooked and it was supposed to be bucky clearing up but OBVIOUSLY the man was in GayShock™ so

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
bucky eventually got up and we assume he went to find steve but idk what happened after that??

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
i just asked friday (tony's ai for those who don't know), and she said that bucky is still looking for steve but steve has asked friday to not  
reveal where he is to anyone who asks - harley

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
yes, we'll keep you updated - spider-man

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
mr stark hasn't slept in like 3 days and i threw a pen at the wall because i was frustrated w what i was working on and now he's mad

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
like my hand MIGHT be broken but GO OFF mr stark the pen isn't even broken

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
wait how might your hand be broken

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i fell aggressively into a wall

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
fell aggressively into a wall

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
yes

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
hm sure. have you told tony?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
no

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
why not

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
[[because i don't want to]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA8LjcpjjKQ)

⮡ **h** **arley** @hkeener  
i give up

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
you get used to it

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
update: bucky found steve - harley

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
shit's about to go down right about now

\-----

**harley -- > peter**

**peter:** THEY'RE JUST STARING AT EACH OTHER???

 **harley:** they're eye-fucking

 **peter:** please don't say that

 **harley:** why not? i only speak the truth

 **peter:** but you didn't have to SAY it

 **peter:** OH SHIT BUCKY'S SAYING SMTH

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
bucky: why now? why not 70 years ago?  
steve: i wasn't gay then  
bucky: yes you were

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
i'm not allowed to post any more of their conversation but i'm allowed to say we think they're dating now? - peter

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
just realised that there actually WERE aliens in april and now i'm scared about the rise of hitler in may

⮡ **h** **arley** @hkeener  
oh GOD

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
sounds fun i want to fight a nazi

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
No, you don't.

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
yes i do

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
hold on steve, you gotta say it in their language

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  


⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
praise the lord

\-----

 **harley** @hkeener  
so it turns out that i can run from rose hill but i can't hide lol

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
saying lol doesn't hide your pain

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
she's right, you can't keep saying lol when you're going through it

⮡ **h** **arley** @hkeener  
i can and i will lol

\-----

 **gwen** @gwenstacy  
@pbparker wanna form an alliance to make sure harley talks about shit?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
100%

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy   
great

⮡ **h** **arley** @hkeener  
fuck oFF

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy   
play nice, keener.

\-----

**peter -- > harley  
**

**peter:** what's wrong?

 **harley:** i just realised that just bc i'm in new york now, doesn't mean that people from rose hill can't talk to me

 **peter:** so you realised that you can't run from your problems

 **harley:** i mean, pretty much

 **peter:** what made you realise that?

 **harley:** someone from my old high school dmed me and like,,, they're one of the reasons i left, y'know?

 **harley:** i'd rather not talk about it right now

 **harley:** but i'll talk to you or gwen about it later

 **peter:** okay

 **peter:** don't let it build up though

 **harley:** tony called u a hypocrite the last time u said that to him so

 **harley:** hypocrite

 **peter:** smh

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
i'm on my flight now so if my plane crashes and burns, just know i was glad to be a stark kid for three days - harry

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
if you die, i'll raise u from the dead to kill you again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to have an actor that would play harry osborn if he were to come into the mcu so i can like,, add photos in here  
> so,, suggestions?


	4. twitter sees the reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i had a couple of suggestions for harry but i ended up going w harrison osterfield (suggested by Adara_ava_echo99) because there's CONTENT
> 
> ALSO IM MAD I HAD SO MUCH OF THIS WRITTEN AND THEN IT DELETED JDGDJK

**Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I feel like a father to 5-year-olds.

⮡ **Natasha** **✅** @TheBlackWidow  
We knew this, Tony. But what have they done now?

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I didn't want to be woken up at 4 in the morning JUST because @harryosborn gets to the airport at 6.

⮡ **Natasha** **✅** @TheBlackWidow  
They haven't seen Harry in years, let them be excited.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I never thought I'd be doing this for an Osborn but here we are.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
it just be like that mr stark

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I guess it does.

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
okay so we get to the airport and guess who's here? norman osborn - peter

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
i don't know why i didn't think of this BUT this is going to be SO FUNNY - peter

\----

 **harley** @hkeener  
peter and ned are literally VIBRATING and mj is just fucking smirking at an oblivious norman

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
i might be excited but i'm fearing for my LIFE 

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
update: norman has noticed tony and is death glaring him - harley

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
tony just flipped him the bird and went back to his phone call w pepper about how he definitely should've let happy take us to the airport  
\- harley

\-----

 **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
there is SO MUCH content idk what to do with it all

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
listen and observe, young padawan

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
i CANNOT WAIT to see norman's reaction when he realises that:   
1) it's me and ned (who he banned harry from contacting) standing with tony stark  
2) all of us are here for harry too  
3) harry prefers us over him and comes over to us first

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
i see the contact ban didn't work

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
no it did not

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
NORMAN JSUT FUCKIGN 

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
OH MY GOD

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
WE'RE ALL LAUGHING HE JUST  


⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
THAT WAS HIS EXACT REACTION

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
IM LAUGHING SO MUCH

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
I KNOW I CAN SEE YOU 

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
I DARE YOU TO HUG TONY

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
OH MY GOD HE'S GONNA EXPLODE

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M AIMING FOR

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
VISUAL REPRESENTATION OF NORMAN OSBORN RIGHT NOW:  


⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
THIS IS SO ACCURATE HE LOOKS SO MAD

\-----

 **hulk out** @superheronerd  
stark kids: tweeting  
the internet: people at the airport, fearing for their lives:  


⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
SORRY NOT SORRY IT'S TOO FUNNY

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
I'M SHAKING OF LAUGHTER AND FEAR RN 

\-----

 **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
norman, yelling about harry, tony, and the rest  
harry choosing tony over of the stark kids, tweeting  
him: about it:  


⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
HONESTLY THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE 

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
HE'S LIKE,, YELLING AT US AND WE'RE JUST,, STANDING THERE

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
HE GOES SO RED WHEN HE SEES ONE OF US TYPING SO WE'RE DOING IT MORE EVEN IF WE'RE NOT TWEETING

\-----

 **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
stark kids, messing with norman: norman, getting what  
he deserves:  


\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
norman: what is the meaning of this?!  
harry: you're not entitled to know shit  
norman: i'm your father.  
harry: sorry norman, i have a new billionaire dad

\-----

 **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
harry: you're not entitled to know shit  
norman:  


⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
it be like that

\-----

 **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
norman: doesn't treat harry properly for pretty much his whole life  
harry: sorry norman, i have a new billionaire dad  
norman:  


\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
tony: okay kids, i think it's time to leave  
all of us: yes dad!  
norman: harold theopolis osborn get your ass back here!  
harry: [[you're not my dad!]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csv3v5bSIEc)

\-----

 **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
stark kids: having fun  
norman: yelling at them  
tony:  


⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Honestly, they were having too much fun with this.

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
almost forgot what happiness felt like  


⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
god i missed this

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
me too

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
same here

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
omg y'all are so cute get me a friendship like THIS

\-----

 **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
@TonyStark let us get dinner together :)) @nedleeds @pbparker (@emjay refused to be in the photo, and @hkeener said he "didn't want to step on our moment).  


⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
just a psa @hkeener : you would NEVER be stepping on our moment. you became part of the chaos the minute you got in that car to come  
and pick me up from the airport.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
seriously?

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
yes.

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
100%

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
ofc

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
yes!! group hug?

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
the stark kids are PERFECT and no one can tell me differently

\-----

 **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
question @spiderman : did you go to the airport?

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
i didn't. i wasn't gonna walk around in my suit, and if i didn't, it'd be v obvious who i am because it'd be the only kid people wouldn't  
recognise. the internet isn't stupid all the time, so yeah,, my identity would be revealed.

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
oh yeah. that's fair. thank you for replying!!

\-----

 **mj** @emjay  
we've been at the tower for 30 minutes after the MOST chaotic day and they're STILL on their bullshit. @harryosborn @pbparker  


⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
did @pbparker fall off though

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
yes. yes he did.

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
it was funny

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
meanies :(

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
not to be sentimental or anything, but i missed my best friend  


⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
i missed you too, pete

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
CANNOT believe i'm gonna be seeing you every day now,, wow

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
i know,, wild.

\-----

 **needle** @nedleeds  
@pbparker and @harryosborn were trying to recreate this photo earlier  


⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
omg no ned pls

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
i'd like to thank peter for covering my face

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i wish i hadn't

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
wow rude

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
I want this framed and put in the living room.

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
tony stark = irondad

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
omg yes

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
amazing

⮡ **Iron Man ✅** @TonyStark  
That's going to stick now, isn't it?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
yes.

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
yes.

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds   
yes.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
yes.

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
yes.

⮡ **shuri ✅** @princessofwakanda  
yes.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener   
yes.

⮡ **Pepper Potts ✅** @CEOPepperPotts   
Yes.

\-----

 **Iron Dad** **✅** @TonyStark  
I gave in.

\-----

 **Iron Dad** **✅** @TonyStark  
The kids finally fell asleep. Pretty sure they've been up since 3am yesterday. For future reference, it's now 4am.  
 _[picture of the living room. there is one large sofa opposite the tv and two armchairs on either side of the sofa.  
_ _harley is at the end of the sofa, with his arm around peter (who has his back to harley's side, but is leaning on harley's shoulder).  
peter is laying along the length of the sofa, with harry laying between peter's legs, head on peter's chest.  
ned is laying across one of the armchairs, and mj is curled up with a blanket on the other.]_

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
❤️  
_quoted tweet:  
_ **Iron Dad** **✅** @TonyStark _  
The kids finally fell asleep. Pretty sure they've been up since 3am yesterday. For future reference, it's now 4am.  
[picture of the living room. there is one large sofa opposite the tv and two armchairs on either side of the sofa.  
harley is at the end of the sofa, with his arm around peter (who has his back to harley's side, but is leaning on harley's shoulder).   
peter is laying along the length of the sofa, with harry laying between peter's legs, head on peter's chest.  
ned is laying across one of the armchairs, and mj is curled up with a blanket on the other.]_


	5. twitter finds out what the stark kids think of galas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay please ignore the fact that some of the photos are of them at premieres,,, please  
> also i put liz in the acadec team bc why not

**stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial **  
**so we wake up at 1pm and we get told there's a gala tonight? @TonyStark what the fuck why - harley

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Apparently we have to officially introduce the 'Stark Kids' as in internship program

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
why though

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Look at it this way: I have a bunch of kids under my care a lot of the time with no public guardian permission. Weird, right? So I have to  
announce the Stark Kids as an internship program for you all. There'll be pretty much no change for you guys, seeing as you're in the  
lab for the number of hours required anyway. But I need to make it official with paperwork.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
ew, paperwork

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I know, kid. Anyway, hurry up. There's a tailor waiting for you. Shuri will be there in an hour. Spider-Man, I know you're busy  
tonight, there's no need for you to be there, just come to the tower tomorrow to sign the paperwork, please.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
will do, mr stark! - spider-man

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
god works hard, but mr stark's tailor works faster - peter

\-----

 **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
okokok y'all excited abt stark kids becoming official but consider this: the stark kids in suits/dresses

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
hoLY SHIT

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
we've got so many tweets asking for us to show you our outfits for tonight. yes, we will post photos. - mj

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
we WON! but pls guys,, no thirsting over them to a creepy extent - they're all minors i THINK

\-----

 **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Yes. This has to be said.  
_quoted tweet:  
_ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
we WON! but pls guys,, no thirsting over them to a creepy extent - they're all minors i THINK  
  


⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
"appreciating" how we look is okay. but yes, we are all minors so it'd be very uncomfortable for us if you thirsted over us. - shuri, on behalf  
of everyone

\-----

 **mj** @emjay  
@abebrown @cindymoonmoon @avrilsally @bettybrant @flashthompson @charlesmurphyy @seyoreilly @elizallan you're all invited to this gala too. @MidtownAcaDec - i know mr harrington runs that account - you're also invited. @TonyStark said so. You can bring your wife so you know someone.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker   
mj, my best friend, one of the two people i listen to, please, can i ask you: what the fuck

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
ask @TonyStark , not me.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker   
okay. @TonyStark what the fuck

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
Language, Queens.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
with all due respect, mr america, i didn't ask you

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
Ouch. 

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Look, kid. Your AcaDec team means a lot to you, I invited them. You get to hang out with them for an evening. Also, MJ said  
that Harry and Harley will be joining the team so this is a good opportunity to get to know them.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
this? this is NOT IT chief

⮡ **not the president (yet)** @abebrown  
time to whip out the homecoming suit

⮡ **not the president (yet)** @abebrown  
on the outside, i am cool. on the inside, however? i am freaking the fuck out what the fuck fjsdfhksj

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
are you sure i'm invited?

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
yes, flash. i don't tag people by mistake.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker   
however much of a dick you are sometimes, you're still a part of the team.

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
thank you

⮡ **sally** @avrilsally  
omg i'm excited but this is SHORT NOTICE

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
we didn't have much more warning, we're all gonna be messes

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
hot messes* that way it sounds better

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
you're right.

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
i'm so ready for this

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
glad one of us is

⮡ **c** **harles** @charlesmurphyy  
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
@OfficialCaptainAmerica this man right here, sir

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
I DEFINITELY should've stayed in the ice

⮡ **oh really?** @seyoreilly  
okay coolcoolcool

⮡ **liz** @elizallan  
oh god okay this is Big

⮡ **Midtown Academic Decathlon** @MidtownAcaDec  
Thank you, @TonyStark and Michelle. I'll see you later tonight.

⮡ **cinders** @cindymoonmoon  
omg i get to wear a dress thank u @TonyStark for giving me an excuse to do that

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
You're welcome. But I'm pretty sure you don't need an excuse to wear a dress. You can wear whatever you want, whenever you want.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
mr stark, new york is cat-call central. no girl can wear what they want without the fear of being assaulted.

⮡ **cinders** @cindymoonmoon  
he's right. also, midtown doesn't allow dresses because they're "too distracting"

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
and yet boys are allowed to wear tank tops

⮡ **cinders** @cindymoonmoon  
exACTLY

\-----

 **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
we LOVE our socially aware @pbparker

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
thank you, but i honestly feel like it's a level of understanding that EVERYONE should have.

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
you're right

\-----

 **harley** @hkeener  
just a reminder to everyone that's underage attending this gala: asgardian mead is not classified as alcohol but @pbparker says it gets you very drunk so,,, we can drink and it not be illegal

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
you DID NOT need to drop me into this

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
oh, sweetheart, i did.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I'm going to pretend like I didn't see this tweet.

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
kinda feeling snazzy in this suit. also, let it be said that i was ready first - harley  
(photo creds: @pbparker)  


⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
hey my friend peter thinks you're cute but you look "fucking hot" in that suit

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i'm going to fucking kill you. mark my words.

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
you won't be killing me when you realise i got you a man

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i hate you so much

⮡ **not the president (yet)** @abebrown  
look if you're all turning up in suits that look like THAT, then i am underdressed 

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
oh god i am gAy sjfdkjlsf

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
[[oh no he's hot]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ba9_jaN7EA)

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
peter, right now

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
once again, i'll kill you

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
;)

⮡ **36 hours** @hahayes  
why is no one talking about his hair it's,,, perfect

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
HE

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
if this is what harley looks like,, and they all had the same suit tailor,, daMN

⮡ **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
this is it chief

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
he?? not a single flaw

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
i haven't worn a suit since homecoming so this feels a bit odd - peter  
(photo creds: @hkeener)  


⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
for the record, parker, you look "fucking hot" in that suit

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
fjdksfjds

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
he's broken

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i still hate you

⮡ **cinders** @cindymoonmoon  
damn. peter cleans up nicely

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
if harley doesn't go for him i'll go for him myself

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
no you won't

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
omgomgomg he's cUTE

⮡ **36 hours** @hahayes  
why can't boys i know look like this

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
boy.

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
you suit red dAMN

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
we can't even complain about how unfair it is of them to post these bc of how attractive they all are because we ASKED for it

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
stark kid stans are winning today

⮡ **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  


\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
i feel so powerful in a suit dAMN. - mj  
(photo creds: @pbparker)  


⮡ **shuri ✅** @princessofwakanda  
dAMN INDEED

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
why thank you, princess

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
she acts cool, but she had a gay panic

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
and you didn't when you saw harley?

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
BEAUTIFUL

⮡ **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
i'm STRAIGHT

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
women. that's it. that's the tweet.

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
oh my god

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
women in suits >

⮡ **shuri ✅** @princessofwakanda  
agree

⮡ **36 hours** @hahayes  
my bisexuality really jumped out here

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
i,, wow 

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
this? this is the dress. - shuri  
(photo creds: @emjay)  


⮡ **mj** @emjay  
i'm not even gonna hide the fact that i gay panicked now.

⮡ **sally** @avrilsally  
sometimes i realise that there's women who look like THIS and that's why i'm single

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds   
sally you look great :)

⮡ **sally** @avrilsally  
awe! thanks ned :)

⮡ **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  


⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
wakanda forever indeed

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
queen queen queen

⮡ **36 hours** @hahayes  
the princess is looking like a QUEEN

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
oh my gOD

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
never thought i'd look good in a suit. i even felt insecure about this one an hour ago. my friends are the best. i feel so confident in this. - ned  
(photo creds: @hkeener)  


⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
ned you look amazing!!

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
that suit looks great, ned!!!

⮡ **sally** @avrilsally  
yes!! u look great!!

⮡ **36 hours** @hahayes  
tony just chose a bunch of smart and good-looking kids huh? where did he find them?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
my apartment

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
PRECIOUS

⮡ **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
DKSAJFD

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
dude the suit looks really good on you!!

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  


⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
stark really HAS got the best tailors

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
they bullied me for taking too long. i said my hair had to be perfect. - harry  
(photo creds: @pbparker)  


⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
stfu your hair is just naturally perfect, you were just trying to work out how to put on a tie

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
shut up and go flirt with harley

⮡ **c** **harles** @charlesmurphyy  
look. i might be straight but if we have harry osborn on the team i MIGHT stare at him instead of answering questions

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
trust me, he's not attractive when he's on 3 hours of sleep. 

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  


⮡ **36 hours** @hahayes  
in conclusion, all of the stark kids are attractive, but i am in love with harry osborn.

⮡ **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
GOD DAMN

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
y'all are calling him hot but he's adorable too

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
you know who's the REAL superhero of the world? whoever tailored these suits.

\-----

 **not the president (yet)** @abebrown  
i feel so out of place here yet it's one of the best nights of my life? wild.

\-----

 **local journalist** @bettybrant  
as IF i just got to talk to the avengers & ask them questions i've always wanted to ask them??? i'm literally so lucky

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
thor: why are there so many children here? i do not know all of them.  
peter: that's our academic decathlon team, mr thor sir  
thor: smart little people!

⮡ **cinders** @cindymoonmoon  
thor's my favourite avenger to hug so far

⮡ **God Of Thunder** **✅** @THOR  
Thank you, smart child. You were also very nice to hug.

\-----

_@THOR followed @cindymoonmoon_

_\-----_

**cinders** @cindymoonmoon  
omg omg omg thor followed me this is all i will talk about for the rest of my life

\-----

 **sonic** @flashthompson  
didn't know you could be anything but lame @pbparker

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
funny what you don't know, huh?

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
i deserved that.

\-----

 **harley** @hkeener  
he's trying to make fun of tony but really they look too alike @pbparker @TonyStark  


⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
hold up, where did he get glasses from?

⮡ **c** **harles** @charlesmurphyy  
he stole mine

⮡ **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
he's so cute omg

\-----

 **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
@starkkidsofficial @pbparker @hkeener @nedleeds @emjay @princessofwakanda @harryosborn :  
Please get off your phones now, I need to introduce you all to the press & do the announcement.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
fine. we'll be there in a second.

\-----

"Hi, yes. Welcome, everyone. I'm going to keep this short because I'm sure the kids want to go back to whatever they were doing earlier." Tony began to speak, causing everybody to stop talking and focus their attention on Tony. 

"If you told me last week that I'd be setting up a new internship program, I wouldn't believe you. This would be because I feel - and know - that Stark Industries has a sufficient amount of interns and plenty of available places for new ones. Not to mention, every department in the company has an internship program ready and available for those who want to become a part of Stark Industries. I didn't think there would be a need for the company to set up another one so soon. I hadn't been planning any new departments to be built in the company - so why would we need a new internship program, right? Obviously, it turns out that I was wrong. You won't hear or see me admitting that very often, so treasure that moment." Tony paused, knowing that there would be a round of laughter from everyone listening.

"As the internet - and therefore the press probably - knows, this internship program is called 'The Stark Kids'. Now, I'm pretty certain a Twitter user dubbed all of these kids with this collective name to make it easier to refer to them all at once. However, it stuck, and the kids adopted this name and used it to make a joint Twitter account. Even though this has now become part of an official internship program, most of these kids spend hours in labs - whether they are mine or not - anyway. Peter, Michelle, and Ned have been using the labs in Stark Tower and the Avengers Compound for a couple of years now - ever since Peter became my personal intern. Harley has his own lab at home, filled with up-to-date technology - so he knows his way around a complex lab - and I know he was constantly working in there. Shuri also has her own lab back in Wakanda. Obviously, Harry has worked in labs at Oscorp whenever he came home during school breaks. Spider-Man - although he isn't here tonight - has been working in the labs alongside Peter, Ned, and Michelle for the last couple of years. So, this internship won't change most of the kids' schedules very much. I will not be giving them certain hours, due to their age and school commitments - and for Shuri, her commitments as a royal in Wakanda. However, all of them have to spend at least five hours in a lab a week, however, they can choose to work for as many hours as they please. This is standard internship rules regarding hours here at Stark Industries.

"As for each of the kids showing me what they have worked on - so that I can provide clear evidence to the board that they are being productive - both myself and Pepper will oversee this. Regarding Shuri, she will send me details of any unclassified projects she has been working on. I will be able to see all of the others' projects in person. Unlike other internships, The Stark Kids internship will not be publicly open to anyone else. However, if the kids decide they would like someone else to join, I will happily accept them. This internship program was put together due to the fact that seven minors are frequently placed under my care for somewhat suspicious amounts of time - and even though I see myself as a mentor to all of them, I am not legal guardians of any of them. So, even though I see myself as a mentor to all of them, for obvious reasons, we've had to make this official.

"One final point, for the internet: just because this has become official, it doesn't mean that the kids' Twitter antics will change. They will still be able to tweet the same things that they would be tweeting had there been no paperwork involved. Now, I'd like to introduce you all to six out of the seven of the 'Stark Kids'.

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
okay!! we're logging off for the rest of the evening to answer questions from the press!! - the stark kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay hi i hope you enjoyed this, bc this took me a hell of a long time to write


	6. twitter sees the stark kids do a photoshoot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i accidentally posted this before it was finished so uhh if u saw the 30 seconds that was up for,, hi  
> there are photos in here, so ignore the fact that some of them are at premieres and stuff (again)  
> also, this is most definitely a filler

**stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
okay, we were all WHACKED OUT from the gala but spider-man woke us up because he "made an amazing discovery" like fuck OFF spider-man i was trying to sleep - harley

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
this is THE BEST discovery i have ever made PLEASE come to the kitchen

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
give us one reason why we should - harry

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
i made pancakes?

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
we'll be there in two minutes - harley

\-----

 **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
the stark kids getting up just because spider-man made pancakes is just,,, a mood

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
none of us would EVER pass up the opportunity for pancakes - peter

⮡ **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
completely valid

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
okay so spider-man's discovery was actually worth it these pancakes are PERFECT

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
what WAS the discovery the internet wants to know

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
i'll explain it hold on

\-----

 **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
okay so BASICALLY i have a thing that i call my spidey-sense (everyone else calls it my "[name]-tingle", which i HATE), and it's pretty much a sixth sense?? like i KNOW when someone's about to try and shoot me or something, so i can move out of the way. (1/3)

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
it works in normal situations too, like i can tell who just walked into the lab & it even works for people in the street (nyc is busy, and i can just  
walk through the streets without bumping into anyone). and it's very helpful thank you radioactive spider (2/3)

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
so i was making pancakes this morning and had this feeling that was like 'FLIP IT FLIP IT FLIP IT' constantly,,, so i DID. and it turns out that  
my spidey-sense tells me when to flip a pancake so i can make perfect pancakes (3/3)

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Kid, make me and Pepper some pancakes.

\-----

 **sonic** @flashthompson  
i want spider-man to cook me pancakes

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
i wonder what making pancakes in my suit is like

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
i mean you're friends with people in my school and if they know your identity then,,,,

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
absolutely NOT.

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
shuri has to go back to wakanda & we have to go to school tomorrow so today, we are messing with the avengers. - peter

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
oh my god

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Lord help me

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  


⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
Buck, what does this mean?

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
it's a reaction image u absolute dumbass

\-----

 **harley** @hkeener  
okay so we all decided to watch brooklyn 99 bc new episode?? and they're talking about the avengers & jake said that his favourite avenger was spider-man bc he's the coolest and uh,, @spiderman started crying a bit so thanks @nbcbrooklyn99

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
there was no need for this tweet???

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
there really was

⮡ **Brooklyn Nine-Nine** **✅** @nbcbrooklyn99  
Glad you approve, @spiderman !

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
thank u so much i love u

⮡ **Brooklyn Nine-Nine** **✅** @nbcbrooklyn99  
We love you too, Spider-Man!

\-----

 **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
the brooklyn 99 account said they loved me and they even put the hyphen in spider-man

⮡ **Brooklyn Nine-Nine** **✅** @nbcbrooklyn99  
How could we forget it?

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
HEKEDFJDS

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
he's dead

\-----

 **peter** @pbparker  
okay so @nedleeds managed to block thor from seeing this (so, to all of the other avengers: don't snitch). i'm going to convince thor that i am a goat.

⮡ **Sam Wilson** **✅** @TheFalcon  
PLEASE record this, kid. Steve & Bucky second this.

⮡ **Natasha** **✅** @TheBlackWidow  
As do I.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I'm scared as to how you're going to do this, but yes, please record this.

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
peter: mr thor!! i found out that goats like carrots!!  
thor, confused: yes? why would you mention this?  
peter: i also like carrots.  
thor, even more confused: okay?  
peter: does that make me a goat too?  
thor, shocked: it might. let's do some experiments

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Please don't let Thor experiment on Peter.

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
it's Too Late, they've already started

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I'm going to die.

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
thor: goats have four stomachs. do you have four stomachs?  
peter: well, i eat a lot!  
thor: we could cut you open and check.  
peter: actually mr thor!! i DO have four stomachs! i've checked before!  
thor: you are probably a goat!

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
peter's a coward

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
however much thor killing me would be The Dream, i didn't want to disappoint thor by him realising i'm NOT a goat

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
valid.

\-----

 **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
i can't believe that @pbparker managed to convince thor that he was a goat

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i can't either

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
okay so @TonyStark said that we all have to take official pictures that the press can use? bc obviously they're gonna get sued if they follow us to school but they want pictures OTHER than the ones we've put on twitter already. so, a photoshoot here we come ig - harry

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
oh my god please post them on here too

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
will do - harry

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
CONTENT CONTENT CONTENT

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
ofc we're gonna be a bit inactive this afternoon because of this photoshoot thing!! - ned

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
there's going to be a bit of spam this evening js - peter

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@pbparker & @emjay  


⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
them? PERFECT

⮡ **not the president (yet)** @abebrown  
mj's? smiling?

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
can't scare the public too quickly, can i?

⮡ **not the president (yet)** @abebrown  
you're right,,

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
i'm always right

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
BOTH OF MJ'S OUTFITS ARE AMAZING SHE HAS S T Y L E

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
thank u i try my best

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
peter & mj just radiate tony & pepper energy

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
THEY DO

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
platonically.

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
ofc, because peter is in love with harley & you're in love with shuri

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
lies and slander.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
what she said

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
oh, no. the bit about you is totally true.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
shut your mouth

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@hkeener  


⮡ **sally** @avrilsally  
harley for white boy of the month

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
i'd be honoured

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
i miss u being prettier than me all the time

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
give me ur address + moving date and i'll come see u and help unpack your stuff

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
bro no hetero but i love you

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
no hetero but i love you too bro

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
bro.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
bro.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
uhhh i'm kinda gay

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
glad to hear it sweetheart ;)

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  


⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
is thor the only god on earth cos i think harley's pretty close to being one  


\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@princessofwakanda  


⮡ **mj** @emjay  
in peter's words, i'm kinda gay

⮡ **shuri ✅** @princessofwakanda  
in harley's words, glad to hear it

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
i LOVE this

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@nedleeds @pbparker  


⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
hi, yes, i'd like a friendship like this to takeaway? thank you.

⮡ **shuri ✅** @princessofwakanda  
they're pretty iconic

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@harryosborn  


⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
all i learnt from this is that harry can't stay serious for more than like 3 seconds

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
it's a wonder we even got any decent photos

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
look, being serious never got anyone anywhere

⮡ **36 hours** @hahayes  
still in love with harry osborn but it be like that

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@nedleeds  


⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
ned's my favourite js

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
that's how it's supposed to be

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
if peter was your favourite, i'd be worried

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
oh no, mj would be my favourite if i wasn't committed to you

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
good choice.

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
respect

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@pbparker @nedleeds @emjay  


⮡ **c** **harles** @charlesmurphyy  
sometimes i forget that peter is classy & not just nerdy

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
me too

⮡ **oh really?** @seyoreilly  
well, he DOES know tony stark

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
look, he took me shopping ONCE and i came back with double the amount of clothes i had in the wardrobe at my apartment & my  
wardrobe at the tower combined

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
In my defence, you needed new clothes.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i didn't, but go off mr stark

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@pbparker @harryosborn @spiderman (because the press have enough photos of you and we found this in one of the storage cupboards?)  


⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
why was this in a storage cupboard

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I also want to know the answer to this question.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
i saw it in a party shop and i bought it.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
But why put it in a storage cupboard?

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
why not?

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@emjay  


⮡ **sally** @avrilsally  
wait,, @emjay you wear glasses?

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
it's a fashion statement

⮡ **shuri ✅** @princessofwakanda  
GODDAMN YOU HAVE SOME STYLE

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
thank you ;)

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@harryosborn @pbparker  


⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
PLEASE tell me that they're a chaotic duo

⮡ **needle** @nedleeds  
they are

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@pbparker  


⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
you DO be cute though

⮡ **mj** @emjay  


⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
I KNOW THIS WAS MEANT TO INSULT ME BUT HHHHH

⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
@emjay , we're friends now.

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
cool & good (@hkeener - peter is blushing at your comment)

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
mj!

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@emjay @spiderman  


⮡ **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
!!!!!!! my two favourite stark kids omg

⮡ **36 hours** @hahayes  
spider-man content!!!

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
i love them

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@harryosborn @nedleeds @pbparker  


⮡ **sally** @avrilsally  
yes!! this lighting!!

⮡ **36 hours** @hahayes  
no way is this somewhere in new york

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
spider-man has found some interesting places

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
THIS FRIENDSHIP CAN'T BE BROKEN AND MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
i went through tony's files and i found photos of @pbparker and @nedleeds from 2017. also found a couple of mj with them but i've decided i won't share them as i don't think @CEOPepperPotts can deal with a murder - harry  


⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
apparently mj took both of these so... photo creds: @emjay

⮡ **Pepper Potts ✅** @CEOPepperPotts  
I could probably deal with a murder, but not having to deal with one would be so much easier, yes. Thank you, Harry.

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
i felt real fear right here

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
okay that's enough photos for today, enjoy those - harry

\-----

 **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
we took a few w/o my mask as well, but they'll be posted once i eventually reveal my identity to everyone! 

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
kind of sad we can't post them bc they're Quality™ but yeAH

\-----

 **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
which stark kid lane are you in? personally, i'm in mj's lane (sorry @spiderman )

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
why apologise when you're right

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
peter!!

⮡ **36 hours** @hahayes  
harry 100%

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
ahhhh idk probably harley or peter or harry?? or all three

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
ned!!

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
shuriiiii

⮡ **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
harley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok that was kind of a mess but hope you enjoyed!!


	7. twitter sees the stark kids in their natural habitats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, if you take inspiration from this fic & put it in your own fic, it would be nice if you asked me (i would say yes, i just wanna know where my work is going), and credit me & this fic. i come up with my own storylines for this & i spend a while making sure that they're original. so, if you use any of these storylines, credit would be nice. 
> 
> (i know fanfic authors feed off each other but PLEASE give credit)

**peter** @pbparker  
so i walk into school & i kinda forgot i'm relevant now?? can we go back to me being irrelevant

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
you're never going to be irrelevant when you have harry osborn following you, especially when he's looking like a lost puppy

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
hey! i DO NOT look like a lost puppy, this school is just a Bit Big 

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
mj do be right though

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
welcome to watchmojo, where today we are counting down the Top Ten Ultimate Betrayals

\-----

 **local journalist** @bettybrant  
okay hi i go to school w most of @starkkidsofficial now (apart from spider-man & shuri obviously) and i'm here to say that harry osborn is the most dramatic bitch in this place

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
i gotta keep my reputation up, betty

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
did you REALLY need to push peter off his chair?

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
yes. yes i did.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i didn't need to be assaulted just because you're a stupid bitch

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
you deserved it

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
can we get a storytime? can we PLEASE get a storytime?

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
on it

\-----

 **local journalist** @bettybrant  
okay so we're in chem class, and the back row is just me, ned, mj, harley, peter, and harry (in that order). the teacher gives us an equation, both harry and peter put their hands up at the same time (they're like weird twins it's TERRIFYING) (1/?)

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
and our teacher calls on harry first, so harry says his answer. peter starts laughing into his hands, and harry just gives him a weird look. the  
teacher just says "almost, but not quite!" and harry's face pretty much conveys the emotion of "????" (2/3)

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
so the teacher asks peter to give his answer, and harry's answer was wrong at the LAST decimal point & peter's was right. so the teacher  
says "well done, peter!" and harry just pushes peter off his chair. (3/3)

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Glad to hear they're being productive.

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
absolutely, mr stark!

⮡ **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
i don't know what i was expecting but this? this is even better.

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
[[talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBk0P27QGmc)

\-----

 **not the president (yet)** @abebrown  
hey @starkkidsofficial @pbparker @hkeener @harryosborn @nedleeds @emjay what the FUCK just happened?

⮡ **peter** @pbparker  
i have no idea what you mean

⮡ **not the president (yet)** @abebrown  
but,,, he just,, fucking bOLTED

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
sometimes @harryosborn & i can be intimidating

⮡ **not the president (yet)** @abebrown  
i live in fear

\-----

 **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
@hkeener @harryosborn : What did you do?

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
we did what needed to be done

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
what he said

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I have no idea what you did, but was it necessary?

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
it wasn't 100% necessary, it was maybe 97% necessary though

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Okay. I'll let slide. But I do want to know what happened later.

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
fine.

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
hhhh fine okay

\-----

 **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
while i remember: @hkeener you have permission to date peter i approve

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
thank u but even if u didn't approve i wouldn't care

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
glad to see that my opinion is valid

\-----

 **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
ok but what DID @hkeener and @harryosborn do

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
we already told tony  
_quoted tweet:  
_**harley** @hkeener _  
_ we did what needed to be done

⮡ **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
this is the only answer we're gonna get, right?

⮡ **harry ✅** @harryosborn  
yup.

\-----

 **Midtown Academic Decathlon** @MidtownAcaDec  
First session down!  
( @elizallan @harryosborn @nedleeds @pbparker @emjay @flashthompson )  


⮡ **mj** @emjay  
i'm surprised it didn't look more staged

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
it doesn't look natural either,,

⮡ **mj** @emjay  
oh i know, @flashthompson would never have his hand on the back of my chair

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
wbk

\-----

 **sally** @avrilsally  
guys my 8-year-old brother just saw spider-man deck a mugger & web him to a wall and idk what happened but he started talking about how he wants to attack the middle class?? right in front of my salad?? @spiderman tell him he! can't! do! that!

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
omg no @ sally's brother please don't do that!! you can eat the rich though!!

⮡ **sally** @avrilsally   
thank you spider-man

\-----

 **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
spider-man said eat the rich!! who we saving? who's going first?  
_quoted tweet:  
_**(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
omg no @ sally's brother please don't do that!! you can eat the rich though!!

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
@TonyStark is first, but we're keeping @CEOPepperPotts 

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
And you don't need me?

⮡ **harley** @hkeener  
not always, just sometimes.

\-----

 **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
petition for all of the stark kids to change their names because they're boring (apart from ned's (although why needle?) and spider-man's)

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
we just spent ages coming up with these, any better?

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
i'm kinda liking this

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
i hate it but i don't

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
all? of? us? are? smart? but they all told me i needed this one

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
apparently i'm incapable of being mean to anyone (also it was needle bc my phone refused to accept "ned" was a word)

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
this is self-explanatory.

\-----

 **hulk out** @superheronerd  
the! stark! kids! have! matching! names! thank you for this @irondad2

⮡ **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
i'm so glad i made that tweet

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
everyone thanks you for your service

\-----

 **the gay one** @hkeener  
@pbparker got to the tower after aca-dec and proceeded to just,, pass out on the couch

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
he doesn't sleep well but refuses to tell anyone so sometimes he just,, does That

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
that's not good?

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
we know.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
And you weren't going to tell me?

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
we told may.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Good.

\-----

 **the smart one** @pbparker  
everyone's watched miraculous ladybug, and yet... it's everyone's guilty pleasure.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
and everyone's pulled an all-nighter finishing it

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
there's merch for it and yet i see no one wearing it

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
it's because it's a kids' show everyone knows about, got invested in the story, and now can't let it go

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
you're right.

\-----

 **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
i genuinely feel attacked that i literally cannot get english breakfast tea ANYWHERE in this godforsaken country. like what the fuck i've gone to boarding school in england for years, lived off tea every morning, and i FORGOT that america wouldn't have that and i didn't even bring any with me

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
i'm british so i have this picture i hope this is sufficient  


⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
i really miss that fucking money

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
harry, right now: [[mmm... monkey.]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KT--4xo5_EQ)

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
i won't even deny that

\-----

 **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Please stop harassing me. Yes, I bought Harry a bag of 1100 tea bags so he could make his stupid tea.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
you gotta buy the kettle if you're gonna do it properly,,, cannot be boiling water in a pan

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
harry just revealed his british side

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
wait... american's don't have kettles?

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
no :( it's blasphemy

⮡ **hulk out** @superheronerd  
[[what kind of fuckery is this?]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGN4yePqUNg)

\-----

 **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Goddammit. Yes, I got the kettle too. Harry's choice of kettle and everything.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
thanks, stark.

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
alright, @CEOPepperPotts said we've got to do some official stuff and not just "mess about and cause chaos" on here. so, q&a? tweet your questions with #starkkidsqna !!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay hi!!  
> i like reader interaction in fanfics so like,, ask questions for them all in the comments? i have Big Ideas for this fic but obviously there's going to be a few fillers (hence why there's a q&a - i know everyone does them).


	8. twitter finds out the answers to their questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, please credit & ask when using my ideas for your own fic  
> i don't like confrontation so just,, p l e a s e just add it into the notes of previous chapters etc.
> 
> also when you read this: i KNOW they always answer in the same order - i'm lazy
> 
> AND i'm v sorry for the delay in updating, i just lost a bit of motivation for this chapter oops  
> bUT it's v long so hopefully that makes up for it??

**stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial   
alright, @CEOPepperPotts said we've got to do some official stuff and not just "mess about and cause chaos" on here. so, q&a? tweet your questions with #starkkidsqna !!

\-----

 **thor stan** @thorsmuscles  
#starkkidsqna are you cat people or dog people?

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
cat person! even though i'm allergic to them oops

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
cats - they just,,, represent me

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
dogs!! i had an emotional support dog once & i just Love Dogs

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
dogs! even though my apartment building doesn't allow any pets, i've always wanted a dog

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
i mean,,, i have one of each & i really can't pick a favourite so

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
cats.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
dogs!!!

\------

 **j** @DeadOrAlive  
what's your favourite anime/tv show? and would you guys watch it together or would you guys fight to protect your shows? #starkkidsqna

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
supernatural - i grew up with it & it remains my favourite show to this day. 

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
good omens. read the books, fell in love.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
sherlock. they played it a lot back in england. i used to watch it most nights

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
brooklyn nine-nine - that's self-explanatory

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
the mandalorian ofc

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
i don't watch much tv (i prefer music) but i do really like the weird adaptations of the avengers. very funny.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
also brooklyn nine-nine

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
second part of the question (which we decided to answer on here): we usually take it in turns to watch our shows. we all like all of them -  
although spider-man despises the avengers ones that shuri finds hilarious (the rest of us all think they're pretty funny too).

\-----

 **uno reverse** @busyxfangirling  
okay, important question, who's tiny's favourite? in order, please!! #starkkidsqna

⮡ **uno reverse** @busyxfangirling  
oh fuck, i meant tony, fuck, fuck, i just called iron man tiny, FUCK.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
he IS tiny and you should SAY IT. @TonyStark even the phones know.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  


⮡ **uno reverse** @busyxfangirling  
HHHHHHHHH

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
None of the kids know my favourites in order, so: Peter, Shuri, MJ, Ned, Harley, Spider-Man, Harry. Spider-Man & Harley are so far down the  
list because they stress me out.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
why am i at the bottom

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
You may be Peter's best friend, but you are also the heir of Oscorp, and I'm paranoid.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
okay that's valid

\-----

 **j <3 **@constantlyhavingacrisis  
#starkkidsqna fmk captain america, thor, bucky

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
fuck thor, marry bucky, kill steve 

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
kill all three

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
fuck bucky, marry steve, kill thor

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
you killed thor so we're not friends anymore

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
your loss

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
fuck thor, marry bucky, kill steve

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
idkkkk???? uhhh???? fuck bucky, marry thor, kill steve?

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
kill thor & steve, keep bucky. ik that's not how the game works but i have decided

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
same as harley & peter

\-----

 **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
if everyone suddenly turned into their spirit animal, what would you embody? everyone has to agree on one per person! #starkkidsqna

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
uhh, we'll do the fam first:  
\- tony is definitely an angry chihuahua  
\- pepper's a lioness cos she's powerful but also calm  
\- idk about the rest of the avengers, they have different personalities depending on the hour

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
uhhh penguin bc they just swim and eat and they're cool and they're sometimes gay

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
you're far from cool

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
i am the EPITOME of cool

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
keep believing that, bitch boy.

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
i'm gonna say a cat - sleep a lot, calm most of the time, scare a lot of people

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
peter said i'm a rat but i can't think of anything to conflict that statement

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
that's because i'm Right

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
give me an hour and i'll come up with a different one

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
i couldn't think of a different one :(

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
lizard becAUSE they like being warm and they eat and sleep and they're also a bit energetic

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
a hamster bc fOOD and also sleep

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
i feel like i'm legally obligated to say panther bc when i become queen i have to take over that role.

⮡ **T'Challa** **✅** @KingOfWakanda  
When?

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
when.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
s p i d e r

\-----

 **no. 1 tony stark stan** @irondad2  
fave pastime? like what is your favourite thing to do to relax/guilty pleasure? #starkkidsqna

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
i like playing just dance (i'm trying so hard to complete just dance 4) 

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
i read articles about mysterious disappearances.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
i,, really enjoy cuddles,, like only a few of my friends know that

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
this isn't really a guilty pleasure, but i love spending time with my aunt. she works a lot of night shifts so i spend a few nights at the tower,  
but i ALWAYS make sure i have at least two or three evenings a week to just hang out w her :)

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
i love sitting in coffee shops on my own?? kinda sounds silly but just me, my laptop, some code, and a cup of coffee is one of my favourite  
ways to spend an afternoon

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
pranking my brother. a pleasure, but not a guilty one.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
disney princess movie marathons w lots of ice cream

\-----

 **36 hours** @hahayes  
#starkkidsqna who's everyone's favourite superhero?

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
spider-man obviously

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
black widow.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
captain marvel!! she's so cool omg

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
iron man

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
spider-man :))

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
bucky.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
wanda!! she's amazing

\-----

 ***nerdygal*** @trans-former-man  
#starkkindsqna peter, what is your favourite star wars movie? 

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
i was never sure about this one for like,, a long time but definitely empire strikes back now

⮡ ***nerdygal*** @trans-former-man   
why is it empire strikes back?

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
there's one significant reason but i'm legally not allowed to talk about bUT also it's just g o o d

⮡ ***nerdygal*** @trans-former-man   
you legally can't talk about a movie?

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
one day i'll be allowed to

\-----

 **spidey updates!** @spidermanupdating  
#starkkidsqna are peter and harley officially dating?

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
no??? why would we be dating???

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
no. they're pining idiots. - mj

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
unfortunately not

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
they're not but they do Not Platonic stuff sometimes & harley flirts MAJORLY 

\-----

 **not the president (yet)** @abebrown  
why did peter have to be the smart one if you're all smart? #starkkidsqna

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
it's the only thing he's got going for him -harry

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
hey!!

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
i want to deny it but it IS true though

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
i wanted peter to be 'the pretty one' but mj said that's shuri and i'm scared to argue w mj

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
as you should be

\-----

 **gwen** @gwenstacy  
what is a dirty secret about tony that nobody else knows? #starkkidsqna

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
when tony broke into my garage, he pretended not to care about me and then he just,, gave me a garage full of updated tech?? and his  
number?? like okay old man you don't hate me and think i'm a nuisance but go off

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Oh, no. You're still a nuisance.

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
tony is scared of me like he's scared of pepper. he respects me more than he respects the others but he also goes soft when i come up w  
an idea to improve the business or pr side of si. like,, he looks proud. don't let him know i said this but he's one of the only white, middle-  
aged, men i respect.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Love you too, MJ.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
when i woke up the morning after i got to new york, and tony told us about the gala, he was on his fifth cup of coffee of the day and he'd only  
woken up an hour before. he was so energetic it was crazy?? it was like peter but on more drugs.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
No one needs to see that.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
we'll see about that

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I'll kick you out of my tower.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
we all know you wouldn't

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
this morning, tony told me that he has a soft spot for harry, and he was glad that i've had harry and ned as my best friends for nearly my  
whole life. he said that even if he acts like he hates harry bc he's an osborn, he really doesn't.

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
he acts like this:  


⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
It's true but you're not supposed to tell the world.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
i knew you loved me!!

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
once i hacked into spider-man's suit to override a protocol, and when tony found out, he didn't know whether to cry or shout at me. he ended  
up hugging me and crying while saying "never do that again or i'll blacklist you from every college you think of entering." peter was laughing  
at him so he ended up being mad at peter instead

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
How was I supposed to act when a teenager could hack into a protected suit?

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
tony didn't know how to react when he first saw my lab in wakanda. he LOVES wakandan tech and sometimes just flies to wakanda to come  
and work with me on things. it's actually pretty fun.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Yes. Wakandan technology isn't really something we can implement into Stark Industries yet, unfortunately. We don't have the correct  
means to continue production and I'm not even sure we could legally get it into the country to begin with.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
tony likes to sit in the lab late at night and ask friday to find out the definitions of any meme we quote during the day. everything we say that  
he doesn't understand is recorded by friday. he tries to use memes but sometimes he gets the context wrong and it's the FUNNIEST thing.

\-----

 **local journalist** @bettybrant  
since everyone now knows that spider-man hangs out with the stark kids, does that mean he can't go out with the group anymore because it might risk his identity if a random person is suddenly seen around the now-famous group? #starkkidsqna

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
yeah, unfortunately. we tend to hang out at the tower anyway, but going to see movies is gonna be difficult. :( tony did say he'd buy them in  
before they leave the cinema though. i have no idea how he can do that but i don't question these things anymore - spider-man

\-----

 **c** **harles** @charlesmurphyy  
#starkkidsqna would you rather own a cat with a human face or a dog with human hands and feet?

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
i think i'll take the cat and not tell my roommate when i go to college so that he can wake up to that thing staring at them one day

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
ignoring harley's answer (this is a fucking weird question charles what the fuck), i'd take the cat.

⮡ **charles** @charlesmurphyy  
i have asked this question at every q&a since 6th grade i've had the chance to, and i always get some of the w i l d e s t answers

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
okay that's valid

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
the dog with hands and feet sounds cool because then like, it can pet y o u

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
dog! because then it can pet itself if it gets lonely

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
cat. i think that would be a lot easier to deal with. i can just send it outside and i wouldn't have to see it until i need to feed it.

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
cat. it would be perfect to prank my brother with.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
dog bc then i can take it on patrol and scare criminals

\-----

 **oh really?** @seyoreilly  
what’s your Biggest Explosion (in lab or out)? #starkkidsqna

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
we were all together when this happened actually. so we were trying to make spider-man's webs explosive, kinda like some of hawkeye's  
arrows?? it went kinda wrong and we accidentally blew a hole in the wall. needless to say, spider-man won't be using those webs any time  
soon

\-----

 **hulk out** @superheronerd  
which animal is each stark kid and why? #starkkidsqna

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
hmm,, probably a dog because everyone loves me

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
harley, honey, your narcissism is showing xo

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
this is the only way to cover up how much i hate myself

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
felt THAT

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
a fly. because no one notices me and i know everything. then people get scared when they're finally alerted to my presence.

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
ominous.

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
that's what i was going for, yes.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
a butterfly. mainly because i got a random glow-up overnight???

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
you call tHAT a glow-up?

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
that kinda hurted my feelings tho

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
i'm joking, you big baby

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
i kinda wanna be a penguin

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
a parrot!! i love their colours

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
a cheetah. because they're so cool

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
again, s p i d e r

\-----

 **sally** @avrilsally  
#starkkidsqna what's an embarrassing story about everyone (including tony)?

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
we'll do avengers + associates because we have SO MANY

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
tony falls asleep in his lab quite often, and the other day he fell asleep and whatever chemicals he was mixing blew up in his face. he  
didn't realise until steve asked why there was blue stuff all over his face at dinner.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
steve hates the government so much. once he threw his shield at the tv and he didn't really think about it beforehand and OBVIOUSLY the  
tv broke. he was too embarrassed to tell tony but he couldn't exactly lie because his shield was stuck in the tv and friday had footage.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
nat once tried to cook a russian dessert for us (and it was v nice once she got it right), but bucky kept trying to correct her and she got angry  
and threw the whole thing at him before she put it in the fridge to cool. she eventually listened to bucky bc he was riGHT.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
thor pretended he didn't know how certain stuff worked (toaster, oven, etc.) for about five years. he genuinely doesn't know how to work the  
microwave but everyone thinks he's faking it again so they just roll their eyes and walk away. he ends up heating food up w his hammer

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
t'challa is so easily pranked by shuri. one time she put glitter inside of his suit and told t'challa she'd upgraded it. once he put it on, he was   
covered in glitter, and he couldn't get it out of his hair for weeks. shuri had to make a whole new suit bc they couldn't remove the glitter

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
dr strange and tony argue LOADS. when stephen gets mad, he portals tony back into the tower. one time, he was just tired so put tony back  
in the tower for no reason other than that, and stephen's cloak got mad and pushed strange through too. it was hilarious

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
bruce often doesn't look at what chemicals he's working with if he's distracted. last month, he got so distracted while looking at thor that he  
just,, added some random chemicals together and caused an explosion, which set a table on fire

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
clint likes to mess with tony by climbing in the vents. everyone knows this. everyone. but clint thinks we don't know. we've started messing  
with him by just,, not replying to him. and sometimes we start the movie w/o him on movie nights because he's in the vents seeing if we'd  
forget abt him

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
captain danvers might be extremely powerful, BUT she's a softie for us. she hasn't met harry or harley yet, but for the rest of us, she's like a  
super cool aunt. when fury came to the tower & walked in on peter + ned building lego with them, she glared at fury and it shut him up FAST

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
scott can control ants, and often uses them for pranks. except when the ants are tired of too many pranks, they pull the same pranks on  
scott. there's too many examples of this to write but just imagine scott high-pitched scream every time a basic prank is pulled on him by  
his own ants

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
spider-man can stick to non-stick frying pans. the absolute IDIOT decided to test it at his apartment when he was on his own. meaning that  
there was no one there to help him when he got both hands stuck to the frying pans. he didn't really know how to control his stickiness then,  
so he had to wait until someone got home

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
when wanda was learning how to fully control her powers, she once launched cap's shield back at him. he caught it and threw it straight back,  
but wanda was too busy apologising to realise it came back at her, and it hit her in the legs, and she fully screamed and fell over. peak  
comedy

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
vision just floats through walls sometimes. we all try to make sure he doesn't do it, because sometimes he doesn't know what room he's  
floating into. once he floated into nat's room. no one knows what happened but vision doesn't float through walls anymore. 

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
nick fury always makes the way he lost his eye seem really dramatic, but when captain danvers first came to earth to meet all the avengers,  
she told us the real reason. we can't tell you because we're scared of being murdered but it's so fuNNY

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
okoye always wanted a starbucks in wakanda when they first opened up to the rest of the world. when they eventually set one up in wakanda,  
she was so happy that she ordered everything off the menu. she couldn't finish them and spent the next week feeling sick

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
rhodey sometimes forgets that he has a machine to help him walk now, and it's wiLD when he forgets to use it. like,, he walks?? without it??  
and no one knows how he does it - not even him. because the moment he realises, he like,, falls? it scared tony once and it was so weird??

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
pepper always seems organised, but when there's a massive gala, she runs herself off her feet preparing for it. when tony tells her to go to  
bed, she tells him not to tell her what to do, and tony's too scared to argue back (not really embarrassing it's just funny tbh)

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
loki is really a softie. he's like nat, he enjoys spending time with all of us, but if anyone but us points it out, he gives them a death glare that's  
actually quite terrifying tbh

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
during shuri's first mission, one of her gauntlets stopped working and ended up making her fly backwards. she fell into a bunch of barrels  
and made all the hydra agents slip over and fall. it was embarrassing for shuri but it made it easy to arrest them all

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
hope is secretly as much as a dumbass as scott, and she's super sweet with cassie. but she also has so much authority and it's like talking to  
a pepper 2.0. bUT once, hank pym upgraded her suit and added some stuff that hope didn't know existed. and she kept accidentally doing  
stuff and she had no idea she was doing it.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
valkyrie thought that captain danvers was a figment of her imagination when she first visited. it was so funny to just see val shake her head  
all the time until we eventually told her that carol was real and it was not a side effect of her being drunk

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
we don't have any 'stories' as such for wong, but we all know he listens to beyonce in his free time and he just denies it but we kNOW

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
happy is so accustomed to his bodyguard days that sometimes he just,, goes back into that mode. it's weird to see him get really protective  
sometimes when he's just hanging around w the avengers and he hears something that sounds like a threat but it's just a joke between the  
team

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
sam once fell off the roof of the tower because bucky pushed him but he forgot he had his wings on and screamed until he got like three  
floors from the ground and then he REMEMBERED and we will never let him live that down

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
bucky is just,,, so dumb. but we love him. once he went into the captain america museum and he found everything wrong with it, wrote it  
down, and then went in at night and fixed everything. to this day, security don't know anything was switched. there's a bet going to see  
when they'll realise bucky stole one of the beds

\-----

 **liz** @elizallan  
between all of y'all, how many times have you scared/freaked out/made the avengers worry about your sanity? and can we have an example? #starkkidsqna

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
we've already told stories about us + tony a lot so we'll tell stories about the others to spare him.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Thank you?

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
you're welcome

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
once i watched despicable me like,, multiple times in one day? and bucky was really concerned for me because he'd been in the kitchen  
baking the whole time, and heard it every time i watched it. i do not like the film and have said this so many times, so ofc he was  
confused (1/2)

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
after maybe the 5th time (??) watching it, i went to the lab and made myself a freeze ray. that was the only reason i was watching it. i sat at  
the kitchen island, and when steve came in to say hi to bucky, i froze his feet. both bucky and steve are scared of me now. (2/2)

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
oh! and despicable me is now banned, as is the minion movie, just so i "don't get any more ideas."

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
i live in constant fear.

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
Me too, Buck.

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
when i first met the avengers, i stared them all down (as i do w everyone), and natasha immediately liked me. i think that scared them all  
enough. sometimes, i just sit in the tower common room and read. i tend to make quite a few of the avengers jump. it's quite entertaining.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
obviously, i haven't known the avengers for very long so my story is a little bit boring compared to everyone else's. basically, the day i  
came back to new york, we all made cookies after we got back to the tower. none of us are very good at baking so we expected it to go  
(1/2)

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
very badly. it didn't, but because we thought the dough was so nice, we didn't actually end up making the cookies. we just ate the  
dough. but we made little balls of dough and started throwing them into each others' mouths. it was very entertaining but wanda was  
confused when she saw (2/2)

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
i made bruce worried for me once - which tony says is NOT an achievement but i don't agree w him. i was upgrading spider-man's web-  
shooters, and i did a trial run with them. which meant swinging around the lab. except they didn't really work? so i ended up crashing into  
a wall (1/2)

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
bruce was really worried i'd given myself a concussion, but i was just sitting there laughing at the peter-shaped hole in the lab wall. (2/2)

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
once i scared thor because he'd been off-world for the whole time i'd known the avengers. i was in the common room by myself doing some  
coding and thor thought i was an intruder. it was funny because he called tony and threatened me with his hammer. he doesn't know i Want  
Death.

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
i scare my brother on a daily basis with the fake upgrades i do to his suit. my favourite thing to do is cover it in glitter. he hates me.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
i once scared ant-man when i came back to the tower after patrol with three stab wounds (one with a knife in me), and two bullet wounds. he   
panicked and i had to make my own way to the med-bay because he passed out from the blood

\-----

 **cinders** @cindymoonmoon  
sparkling water/seltzer: angry water, spawn of satan himself OR luscious beautiful fizzy drink that i love? #starkkidsqna

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
it's literally the spawn of satan who came up with that

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
it's THE WORST. this is the only thing we all agree on.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
i hate it so much i caNT

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
my aunt + uncle never liked it so we never had it. i had it once when i went to the tower and proceeded to just cry. it's disgusting.

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
yuck.

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
bleh. i won't have it in the palace

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
as @nedleeds said: yuck.

\-----

 **sonic** @flashthompson  
what's your opinion on pineapple on pizza? #starkkidsqna

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
it's okay - not my favourite pizza but i still like it

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
i like it.

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
disgusting. burn it.

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
i Do Not Like It At All

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds  
i LOVE it, which causes problems when peter & i order pizza but we move

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
it's nice

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
hate it! hate it! hate it!

\-----

 **m** @walkingtravesty  
describe y'all's relationship with each other in 10 words max. #starkkidsqna

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
kids interested in science with a weird connection to tony

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Pretty much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credits for questions:  
> \- Electiz_Grace  
> \- DeadAndAlive  
> \- busyxfangirling  
> \- Courferal  
> \- SioraiDragon  
> \- JuSt_AnOth3r_N3rd  
> \- amateurexorcist  
> \- Louise  
> \- Quacks  
> \- PerytonFeather227  
> \- Shleapord  
> \- hela_spawn_of_loki  
> \- MeanBeanQueen  
> \- Jerivva  
> \- thegayvodka28
> 
> this was very long so took a while but i will post quicker in the future!! also i noticed that this tag has been a bit dry these last couple of days so i speed-wrote the rest of this so hopefully, it's not too much of a mess


	9. twitter decides they hate the government

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry i disappeared for like,, 9 months i have no excuse other than that i was v stressed and just,, had no motivation. i can't promise that there will be regular updates again, but i'll do what i can when i can.
> 
> i don't like this chapter much but it starts a new plotline sO it's a bit of a filler

**gwen -- > peter**

**gwen:** did harley tell you in the end? 

**peter:** tell me what?

 **gwen:** what happened in tennessee?

 **peter:** no, he hasn't

 **gwen:** he hasn't told me why he was upset that one time, did he tell you?

 **peter:** i sort of assumed he told you

 **gwen:** son of a bitch

 **gwen:** he promised he was gonna tell one of us

 **peter:** it probably isn't that easy for him to share it y'know

 **peter:** i feel kinda bad talking about him like this

 **peter:** even if we're not saying anything bad

 **gwen:** i get you b dw

 **gwen:** we can make a chat of the three of us?

 **peter:** yeah, i'd feel better about that

 **gwen:** on it.

 **gwen:** and by the way peter, if you want to date harley, go ahead

 **gwen:** you've got my approval

 **peter:** oh my god

 **peter:** not you too

 **gwen:** yes me too

\-----

 **harley's sad boy hours  
** _pbparker, gwenstacy, hkeener_

 **gwen:** okay bitch boy

 **gwen:** (harley, not peter. peter's an angel.)

 **harley:** what do you want

 **harley:** (i agree)

 **gwen:** you didn't tell me or peter what was wrong a couple of days ago

 **harley:** i do not recall

 **gwen:** hm.

 **peter:** [sent a tweet]  
**harley** @hkeener  
so it turns out that i can run from rose hill but i can't hide lol

 **gwen:** thank you, angel

 **harley:** damn it

 **harley:** fine

 **harley:** just for peter's sake

 **harley:** when i was in rose hill, i was the only out queer kid

 **harley:** dated some kid called ej for a while until he got sent to a conversion camp basically

 **harley:** kinda shitty, but the guy ended up bullying me

 **harley:** accused me of doing stuff i didn't do,, i'd only ever held the guy's hand

 **harley:** anyways, i moved on from him, got w a guy called tom

 **harley:** tom was v sweet to me

 **gwen:** he wasn't.

 **harley:** he wAs

 **harley:** he was but then he told me he'd been using me or whatever but he wasn't gay

 **harley:** doesn't bother me that much y'know?

 **harley:** he did some like,, pretty shitty things to me and when i told my therapist

 **harley:** ,, yeah

 **harley:** he figured i'd told someone because i didn't act like i was scared of him anymore

 **harley:** just to clarify, i'm not hiding anything from u peter, gwen doesn't even know

 **peter:** i don't expect you to tell me anything, i just want to know how you're feeling

 **peter:** try and be there for u

 **harley:** :)

 **harley:** but yeah

 **harley:** he messaged me the other day

 **harley:** tried to tell me that what happened actually hadn't happened

 **harley:** and i almost believed it

 **harley:** believed what happened had been my own fault

 **gwen:** harley, he treated u so badly

 **gwen:** the state of mind you were in after he broke up w u,,

 **gwen:** that wasn't your own fault

 **harley:** yeah yeah i know

 **harley:** but hey

 **harley:** old life

 **gwen:** i'll sock him on my last day love xox

 **harley:** lmao thanks

 **peter:** hug?

 **harley:** please

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
working in the lab today! we're doing Adult Stuff. - peter

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
What? Like making roombas?

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
exactly like that old man

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Will I ever catch a break?

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
no lmao

\-----

 **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
IM IN DEEP SHIT

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Kid, we know you're crying.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
i'm FINE thank you

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I'm trying my best, kid. I don't know how much power any of us hold here.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
i wish i was on cap's side 

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
No. You know I wasn't right.

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
but none of this would be HAPPENING

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
I'm sorry, Spidey. None of us can do anything. Not even Pepper. 

⮡ **Pepper Potts ✅** @CEOPepperPotts  
Boys, off of Twitter now. We're not supposed to be giving information yet.

\-----

 **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
anyone know why spider-man is in deep shit?

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
yes

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
but you're not allowed to tell us

⮡ **harry** **✅** @harryosborn  
correct. but you'll all find out soon anyways, spidey can't keep his mouth shut

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
i'm tired of being bullied

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial   
super massive extremely important press conference coming up but spidey hates the press so we're releasing it on twitter before the papers have time to write it <3 - shuri

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
basically, we had to do smth officially bc of the pr MESS it would cause if spidey released it without warning

\-----

 **stark kids cool gc  
** _pbparker, harryosborn, hkeener, emjay, nedleeds, princessofwakanda_ **  
**

**peter:** why'd it have to be ME

 **peter:** it's always me

 **mj:** we know

 **mj:** somehow you can't escape it

 **mj:** very funny though

 **peter:** no it's NOT

 **harry:** it is

 **ned:** it is

 **harley:** it is

 **shuri:** it is

 **peter:** y'all are so annoying

 **peter:** this is bullying

 **mj:** yeah 

**harley:** u have a whole year nearly to prepare i guess?

 **harry:** peter won't have a clue what he's doing until the day comes

 **peter:** what if i just

 **peter:** accidentally died

 **peter:** by jumping out the tower window

 **ned:** peter no

 **peter:** fine

 **peter:** but bro,, now nothing will be like

 **peter:** separate 

**peter:** i won't catch a break

 **mj:** you would've left school 

**mj:** you'd be at uni, i'm sure stark can get you online classes or something

 **peter:** but the experience mj!

 **mj:** you have to have it one way or the other loser

 **peter:** i'll make up my mind another time

 **mj:** yeah, when?

 **peter:** idk yet

 **harry:** well you're gonna have to figure it out

 **harry:** you have a whole year tho

 **harry:** it'll be fine

 **peter:** hm

 **peter:** maybe

 **peter:** thanks guys

 **peter:** i won't vent anymore

 **peter:** for a while

 **peter:** anyways, press conference time!!

 **harley:** aaand he's back to normal

\-----

 **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
hi, so: the press conference has just ended, and so i will be telling everyone what happened there before the press get to it - mr stark said they're very likely to "warp my words" or something. anyways, i hate the government. a lot. after i explain, there can be questions! (1/?)

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
so, yesterday, general ross just,, appeared in the tower lobby, asking for spider-man. kinda rude, if you ask me, but whatever. once mr stark  
procrastinated seeing him as much as possible, he called me into a meeting room, and ross basically explained some government stuff. i'll  
explain (2/?)

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
when i officially joined the avengers, i was asked to sign the accords - which i did. however, i was never asked to reveal my identity, hence  
why no one knows who i am. any avenger who revealed their identity after the accords did so by choice. i chose not to. (3/?)

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
however, things have changed, and the government in control of the accords have decided that by the time i turn 18, i have to reveal  
my identity. i'm not happy about this - spider-man is intentionally anonymous. people can tell me secrets without fear of them  
getting out. (4/?)

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
i don't want to reveal my identity. i've helped people i know to get out of difficult situations. i still check in on those people. those  
people don't know my identity, and once i reveal my identity, what are they going to feel? (5/?)

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
people i know as my civilian self aren't going to feel as safe. because i know people that they know. what if i tell people? this  
announcement (?) is to confirm that even when my identity is out, everything anyone tells me will still be kept as a secret. (6/?)

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman   
i will not tell my friends - as i don't now. i won't tell your friends if i know them. i won't tell teachers, parents - people that  
both me and you know. spider-man is still going to be someone who helps the neighbourhood - and those within it. (7/?)

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman   
i will not be revealing my identity until i turn 18. i'm asking you that even afterwards, if you are in a difficult situation,  
please do the same as you would do now, not knowing who i am. my job is to make sure that people remain safe, and  
even with my identity out there. (8/?)

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
it's important that this still stands. even if you know me personally. my civilian self and spider-man are completely  
different people (almost). they have completely different personalities. when you're talking to spider-man, you're  
talking to someone you can trust - no matter who you are. (9/9) 

\-----

 **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
yes, i was allowed to post that. ask any questions about my previous tweet here!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FRIENDS HAVING PET NAMES FOR EACH OTHER PLATONICALLY >>>>>
> 
> also, i have quite a few question ideas for this, however if anyone has questions they would ask for this, same as last q&a in this fic, comment them!!


	10. twitter watches the stark kids bully steve and bucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i don't think this chapter is grEat but online school is kicking my butt so this is the best i've got

**(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
yes, i was allowed to post that. ask any questions about my previous tweet here!! 

⮡ **v** **ivian ab parker** @vivilife342 _  
_if it wasn't for the accords, when would you have revealed your identity?

⮡ **( **bi)der-man**** ✅ @spider-man _  
_probably when i left college! i already have a job place at si, so there wouldn't be any prejudice within job interviews. and after leaving  
college, there'll be fewer people that know me personally when i'm out on the streets. it's hard to explain in words - but it would be  
easier.

⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant _  
_once your identity is out, would you still keep your life private or public?

⮡ **(bi)der-man** ✅ _@spider-man  
_ i'd like to keep most of my life private. obviously, there will be some parts of my personal life which people will know. there will also be  
some things that i won't be able to keep private. hopefully, i'll be able to monitor what does and doesn't get out for the most part.

⮡ **teenwolfnumber24** @teenwolfnumber24 _  
_do you think people who already know your identity will be in a greater risk of being targeted?

⮡ **(bi)der-man** ✅ _@spider-man  
_ unfortunately, yes. people will be able to use them to blackmail me or threaten me. however, people who know my identity now have  
levels of protection (e.g. a way to contact me without calling if they are in danger). this is one of the main reasons i want to keep my life  
somewhat private.

⮡ **not the president (yet)** @abebrown  
after your identity is out there, do you think it will affect you? since people will know who you are and may not feel as comfortable around  
you?

⮡ **( **bi)der-man** **✅ @spider-man _  
_definitely. this is why i wanted to wait. people are going to feel as if they can't approach me because they know who i am. i want to make  
it clear: anyone that needs help, i will do my best to give them what they need. it doesn't matter who you are, or what our relationship is  
like in person.

⮡ **ily 3000** @tonystarkisirondad _  
_after your identity is revealed, how would you feel if people refer to you as your civilian self when you're out as spider-man (and vice  
versa - call you spider-man when you're out as a civilian)? do you still want to keep those lives separate?

⮡ **( **bi)der-man** **✅ @spider-man  
i'd like to be referred to as my civilian name when i'm out as a civilian, and spider-man when i'm out at spider-man. i guess i don't  
mind too much - it would just feel odd to be referred to as spider-man when i'm my civilian self (and vice versa).

⮡ **anthony** @tony_sky  
the thing is... when everyone knows you, everyone will know that you know their secrets - if they tell you - and then threaten you to tell  
them secrets?

⮡ **( **bi)der-man** **✅ @spider-man  
assuming you mean my own secrets? if i'm being seriously threatened, i'd say something. i'd rather live tbh. but if you're talking about  
other people's secrets i've been told - i won't say anything. i'll find a way out without saying.  
  


⮡ **a.shipded** @a_ships_ded  
what is the government's reason for this sudden change?

⮡ **( **bi)der-man** **✅ @spider-man  
i'm not sure why it's so sudden - they just feel like it's a danger that there's an unknown person behind a well-known superhero. to be  
honest, that's a reason i never revealed my identity, but here we are.

⮡ **cinders** @cindymoonmoon  
does the government not care about the people who could be put in danger because of this? ... a shitty government indeed.

⮡ **( **bi)der-man** **✅ @spider-man  
rt!! i'm so, so worried about the people who know my identity. they're in danger of being used as blackmail to get to me by some  
random villain who feels entitled to do so. ig there's also a danger for me too? an identity reveal can be more of a hindrance than a help,  
but the government don't give one.

⮡ **marta** @lokieatspancakes  
are you single?

⮡ **( **bi)der-man** **✅ @spider-man  
yepppp

⮡ **sally** @avrilsally  
have you thought about setting up a spidey hotline? kinda like a suicide hotline but not public and only given to people who you have  
helped?

⮡ **( **bi)der-man** **✅ @spider-man  
tbh, i haven't. that's actually a great idea! i will definitely look into doing that!! i'd need to convince mr stark to get me a new phone just for  
that though. also, i can't be on the other side of the phone the whole time, so there are complications, but i'll try and arrange something  
like that!

\-----

 **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
okay i think that's enough questions for now!! i have limited amounts of a private civilian life left soooo

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
wait,, how long until we find out?

⮡ **( **bi)der-man** **✅ @spider-man  
7 months

\-----

 **the rich one ✅** @harryosborn **  
**does anyone know if tony keeps snacks in here?

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
i'm the snack

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
thanks for your input, it wasn't needed

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener  
just stating facts 

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  


⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
top cupboard on the left

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
thank u, my one and only friend

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@thewhitewolf @OfficialCaptainAmerica  


⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
which one of you little bitches posted this

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
y'all hear smth??

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
I am going to retire.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
you're WAY past retirement age

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
WE MADE MORE  


⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
is this bully steve and bucky day

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
absolutely.

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
Tell me why.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
NOT THIS AGAIN

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
breaking news: bullying steve is cancelled. we're going to target someone else now.

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
who,,

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
that's for us to know and you to find out

⮡ **i'm just a kid** @andlifeisanightmare  
ominous

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
nevermind, we're no where NEAR done with the steve slander  


⮡ **gwen** @gwenstacy  
what was in the diary

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
pictures of steve

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
STOP THIS ISN'T FAIR

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
i think it's perfectly fair

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
Peter and Harry definitely collaborated on the second one.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
breaking news: captain america has a BRAIN???

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  


⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
you really HAVEN'T read romeo and juliet

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
RACOON?

\-----

 **sonic** @flashthompson  
are any of you finding what the stark kids are doing right now slightly problematic? they're making fun of the white wolf's history?? 

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
it's funny - harry

⮡ **sonic** @flashthompson  
bucky is telling you to stop?

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
i've started a collection of the images, this is pure comedy

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  


⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
You're getting worse at hiding which one of you made each of these.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
bet.

⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
Shuri made the first one, Harley made the second one.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
damn

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
You're all acting as if you knew Steve was gay this whole time.

⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
...

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
...

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds   
...

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
...

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
...

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
...

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener   
... 

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
YOU ALL KNEW?

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  


⮡ **local journalist** @bettybrant  
can y'all STOP reverencing romeo and juliet PLEASE

⮡ **bucky** **✅** @thewhitewolf  
PFFTTT

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
we made one that made mj laugh we win  


⮡ **Captain America ✅** @OfficialCaptainAmerica  
God help us.

⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
No.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
you're not funny tony

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
because tony's annoying:  


⮡ **Iron Man** **✅** @TonyStark  
Delete this immediately. You will be hearing from my lawyer.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
no. pepper said we can

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
we have so many  


⮡ **the smart one** @pbparker  
what happened in budapest

⮡ **the rich one** **✅** @harryosborn  
what happened in budapest

⮡ **the soft one** @nedleeds   
what happened in budapest

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
what happened in budapest

⮡ **the scary one** @emjay  
what happened in budapest

⮡ **the royal one** **✅** @princessofwakanda  
what happened in budapest

⮡ **the gay one** @hkeener   
what happened in budapest

\-----

 **Natasha Romanoff ✅** @blackwidow  
No. Stop asking.

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
yes ma'am

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
@hawkeye what happened in budapest

⮡ **Coolest Bird ✅** @hawkeyee  
please stop. Nat will kill me.

\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
no one's safe  


\-----

 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
more steve slander because these are the funniest  


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 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
just realised that we are giving y'all a lot of insight into things that aren't public knowledge, so before anyone asks: yes, we have shown pepper all of these and she has only said no to 2 - and we weren't planning on posting those anyway

⮡ **(bi)der-man** **✅** @spiderman  
they're ones revealing my identity, before anyone asks. what if i used them for that,,,

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 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
  
  


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 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
y'all should be so grateful for the amount of content we are giving you today,, and no, we're not on drugs, i don't think? anyways we exploded smth in the lab and we're all hyper

⮡ **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
nevermind, tony said it's probably some sort of chemical that could be like a drug

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 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
peter's absolute favourite:  


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 **stark kids ✅** @starkkidsofficial  
okay, we're done now. pepper has changed her mind and said we can't post any more about the civil war sooo we're out. hope y'all enjoyed!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG credits to:  
> https://www.tumbex.com/hellonheels-x.tumblr/posts  
> and  
> https://incorrectstevebucky.tumblr.com/posts
> 
> bc i used their blogs for the majority of the breaking news memes. 
> 
> also, i saw a similar chapter done in another fanfic but i genuinely cannot remember what one. if any of you know what fanfic that is, please let me know so i can ask if i can keep this chapter up or if i need to take it back and edit it. also i wanna credit the fanfic!


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